I was delaying doing this but when my Intro to Sociology professor was being an ass and told me to get off the computer, I decided to make a list of everything I want/need in a boyfriend. The list is not QUITE complete but it is quite comprehensive and if you fit most or all of the points, the rest probably don’t matter. It’s not even that hard to hit most of these points as long as you have an open mind„,
- Working for a family-owned company (eg Not a family restaurant but an actual corporation) or in-process of completing some kind of education (preferably University but 2-year College can be acceptable)
- Cannot obsess over Justin Bieber (I cannot deal with a Belieber)
- Mutual appreciation of at least (2): Marilyn Manson, Rock in General (5+ bands), Girly Pop (Britney, GaGa, Katy…)
- Must be willing to attend concerts
- Cannot prefer Rap, Dubstep, or Country over the other genres.
- Must be willing to sit through my long discussions of: Kingdom Hearts, Pokemon, Runescape, Yugioh, Harry Potter, Marilyn Manson, Pokemon, My Family, Quidditch
- Must like: Harry Potter, Avatar/Korra, Pokemon
- Must tolerate Marilyn Manson if not mutually appreciated
- Must be willing to cuddle often
- Cannot be exclusive top (versatile if not exclusive bottom)
- Cosplays or willing to cosplay (even if poorly)
- Must be willing to support: My Quidditch (comes to games if possible), my drag, my projects (project GaGa…), my ambitions (philosophy, video games…)
- Must like Italian food (will be eaten often)
- Must not prefer Mexican/Chinese/Indian cuisine over other foods (the smell of the foods themselves actually make me queasy) (I’m not saying it has to be eliminated, I just can’t deal with it really often)
- Must have dreams of travel to: Germany, Great Britain, France, Australia
- Willing to consider moving out of state post-graduation OR propose substantial objection
- Must communicate their feelings, concerns, fears, insecurities
- Cannot shut down and be unwilling to let me at least try to help
- Must be willing to TRY having some facial hair (I love, love, LOVE about 3 days to a week of not having on other guys. It drives me wild)
- Must not look negatively at my personal philosophy (sub-nihilistic realist)
- Cannot be considering suicide (if you care for me enough that you wanted to be with me in the first place, you cannot care for me so little as to take yourself away. If you need help, we can get you help)
- Must be really willing to get help if self-harmer
- Mutual annoyance with people in general (the general stupidity of our species)
- Must be willing to PDA (consisting primarily of hand-holding and possibly some kissing)
- Must have a driver’s license
- Fear of or unwillingness to have sex is fine but it should be accompanied with an explanation otherwise I will take it as a personal offence
- Communicate
- Must be fine with sex jokes
- Must be willing to tolerate or assist my shallow racism (I have been known to be slightly racist, I believe it is a result of my father’s racism and my grandfather’s racism (my grandfather being my favourite male in my family)) to which I am working on overcoming
- Must not be overly critical of my dislike of organised religion (when you do not subscribe to a religion and see all that it can do in the name of “love.” I can’t help but be critical)
- Must be willing to be sociable semi-often (I don’t always want to go out, but if I want to go do something fun with some friends, sometimes I want you to come with and you can’t be always against the idea)
- Must respect my abstinence to drugs
- Must not consume drugs in my presence
- Must not consume drugs that may transmit communicable disease
- Must find help or stop using drugs that build up toxins in the body (Meth, Tobacco…) and are common overdose drugs
- Must not be high for our interactions (if we hang out, you cannot be high) if given notice (want to hang out tomorrow after class?) (surprise visits where I just kind of show up can be permissable but not preferred)
- Being into drugs is not an automatic rejection but you’d better be really perfect besides that
- Must not drink excessively (getting drunk just to be drunk)
- Must not pressure my into drinking (I have my reasons to avoid alcohol and I NEED you to respect that)
- Must be smart with drinking by: NO driving, if under 21 you must watch your ass, you must be with people you trust (I don’t want to find out someone raped you or left you abandoned because you got wasted)
- Must not be a thief
- Must not cheat on me (If you fear you’re going to or desire to, express that to me, and do the right thing and break-up with me before you act, we’ll be much more likely to remain talking if you respect me enough to do this)
- If there is a problem with my [actions/attitude/behaviour], express it, and let me try to fix it before breaking-up (as per #44)
- You MUST tell me if I do wrong otherwise I may not know better (I’m pretty fucking clueless)
- You must understand that I am constantly anxious and paranoid especially with relationships (I expect the worst, create scenarios to deal with the worst, and then, no matter the situation, I am prepared to handle it… Just in case. It’s really obvious when you start dating me)
- If we do break-up, I will go through all the stages of grief in a matter of days, on a cycle (one day I could want to kill you to the next crying over you to the next denying it happened) (without this “mourning” period, there is absolutely no way that I will ever be able to be your friend. I WILL say things that are hurtful, but it is the ONLY way I have found to be effective when dealing with a breakup
