the-absolute-funniest-posts:

fuckpaul:

in case of a fire we’re just gonna have to fucking die.

townsvillain:

internetexplorers:

ur not a true blogger until u feel pins and needles in ur fingers from blogging too hard

i think youre having a stroke

hopeless-romantic-writer:

This is LITERALLY my dream ^___^

rneerkat:

perrietheplatypancake:

rneerkat:

some people get really mad when people add comments on their posts but like the best thing a comment could do is make your post more successful and the worst thing it could do is make one of your notifications slightly larger than the others

everyone loves mozzarella sticks!! :) :)

i take it back

circumcisions:

circumcisions:

sluttyoliveoil:

hey someone told me you remind them of an owl

who

FUCK

i can’t have a soul mate because i have no soul

niggaimdeadass:

i leave crumbs in the butter because i hate my family 

sexhaver:

if i was a werewolf id call myself “a dog person” and cackle maniacally when people misunderstand me

organizationxiii:

cynicalxme:

awordnerd:

I don’t understand Christmas movies where Santa exists and the adults don’t believe in him. Because if he exists in the story, that means he’s delivering presents to everyone, including the kids of the skeptical adults, and so those skeptics must be sort of confused about all the gifts under the tree that they didn’t buy.

Biggest plot hole in history ^

isaacandhismother:

[sweats nervously]

death-by-lulz:

dicaprion:

OMGF THIS IS PERFECT

my mind cant even comprehend this level of perfect

the oscar, old sport

percychased:

Today in my english class we were discussing about the topic “should we talk to strangers on the internet?” and they were like “OH NO OMFG WE CAN NEVER DO THAT” and i was like

i’d like to formally apologize to anyone i’ve disappointed with my terrible friendship skills